bahhh cant sleep.

my mind is running running running and i cannot stand it!!! the sun is coming uppppp

t.g.i.t.

so it's a little chilly out. more like it's a lot chilly in my apartment. brrrrrrrrrrrrhrhrhrhrrrr! i could not move this morning it was so cold! i guess it's time to replace the fan with the heater. hrm. i'm really glad today's thursday. like, whoa. amazing.

tupac is alive

um today at the convenience store, california love was playing on the radio. hahaha

home

i can't believe tammy is married!!! what! being in dallas has been so much fun - but it's going by far too quickly. ze lo beseder. however, part of the time has felt almost israeli, because of all the hebrew, israeli music and the abundance of israelis at tammy and adam's wedding! a few pieces of israel throughout the weekend:
1. at the henna party, which took place in the reception room at chabad of dallas, i look over and see a hardcore israeli man smoking a cigarette. in the room. i just kinda shrug it off but then do a doubletake and am like uhhhh we're in america. this isn't allowed here. but nobody stopped him. but he got a LOT of looks from the amerikaim in attendance!
2. all the israeli songs i hear on the radio were played at the wedding. the meaning was deep, with only israelis on the dance floor jumping around with full force.. even tammy in her wedding dress!!! bouncing princess!!
3. challah and salt.
4. all the accents and the ma pitoms goin on.
5. #$%^&**^%%#@$%%^%&&&^%$%#@%%^&

wooooooo!

hug me

it's 5:22 am. i woke up yesterday at 8:17, after falling asleep at 4:50-something two nights ago. and def got zero sleep the night before. i'm kind of running on low. i'm currently sitting underneath a row of two pay phones, to use the only electrical outlet in the vicinity of gate C3 at ben-gurion airport. it's storming. people keep staring at me. i'm hungry. and the almond thingie i bought tastes far more like butter than almonds. if i wanted butter, i could've bought some, thanks. my eyes are heavy. no one's speaking english. and i'm waiting to board a flight from tel aviv to madrid. and the only way my computer will stay on is if i position myself exactly right so my bag rests against the plug and adapter, bc this lone little outlet sucks ass. and wouldn't you know, my macbook is so ill it only lasts about 20 minutes or so before it dies. i kinda wanna charge my ipod but im scared to move. oh well. takin the chance.

shit man. it's charging. however, as i was attempting to carefully move, one of those little airport cars came about... no- literally- 6 inches from running over my left foot when the yarmulke-wearing smirk-bearing driver decided to park RIGHT in front of me/the pay phones. i jumped so high. wtf. who does that. i almost hit my head. and WHO wears skintight capri pants and stilletos to fly. like, i don't get some of these people.ps, it's really hard to be a germaphone in this country.

cool, boarding now. iberia air, here i come. somebody hug me. please.
the sun is rising. but i'm tired of sunrises, i think i need a sunset - not the opposite. yar. guess i'm not goin to boston. AAH can't i close my eyes, and wake up in the usa, preferably being hugged? and with a sunset. bvakasha.

my life here is nuts

but the good kinda nuts. like honey-roasted almonds or honey-sesame cashews. ya knowwww.

dear miley

dear miley, crazy and famous do not rhyme.
xoxo,
michelle

i miss capcap!!!

This morning was a lil crazy, and I wound up taking a taxi to work (due to lack of time, not because I have a huge headache and it felt like it was 90-something degrees out)....... I'm standing there, waiting, and a taxi going the other direction looks at me and asks if I need one, and he motions that he'll turn around. Meanwhile, two more taxis go by in my direction, but being the nice lil texan i am, i just let them go and wait for the dude who turned around just for me. Of course he has absolutely NO idea where Ben Maimon Street is (where I work like, 10 minutes away)... and speaks in Hebrew 1,000 km / millisecond (hey look at me, all metric now!)... not that i'd be able to understand him if he spoke slowly, though... and he also spoke the least amount of English of any cab driver i've encountered in my time here. why does this kinda stuff happen to me like, evvery day? taxi drivers have no idea where i wanna go about 50% of the time, and generally i actually know where i wanna go and can tell them (i learned driving directions in ulpan.. WOOO) - but sometimes they go a completely different way than the route i know, so it's difficult to tell them smoleh o yamina when you have no idea what street you're on and the surrounding streets are one ways....... plus you're on a meter and they're driving around aimlessly, stopping to ask people where the destination is, and they don't know, either, and you're like OMG why didn't i just walk. anyway, i got there fine today.

in other news, somehow it got super nice outside. it's gorgeous. but i'm at the computer because i have about eight tasks to accomplish before friday. ready?
design/compile a 100-page press kit (this is almost finished, actually, baruch ha'shem)
create three new homepage images for the website
go through our website content / update it
compile the roi november newsletter
figure out / conduct this featured member profile bit
update my job description
outline my performance goals, learning goals and professional development goals for the next 3 months
start thinking about a gift from roi to birthright/others
shit man, eight was a good guess.
i also have to pack, perhaps get my work permit, find some fun presents to take back and probably some other stuff like, have fun or something!

anyways, im gonna get back to work and drink my limonana blee nana (personally i think mint in lemonade is disgusting). would esponda for LML be a good trade? hypothetically speaking?

i need a hypershot!!! do other people quote stuff from 8th grade or just me? hmmmmmm

naked muffins

yesterday i was kinda stressed out, and since retail therapy isn't particularly the smartest (or most financially-friendly/convenient/productive/uplifting(the clothes here are kinda ugly and they're all really expensive)/probable) option, i decided to bake. pumpkin muffins it would be.

my mom makes them into bars, and they are topped with the most unbelievable cream cheese frosting known throughout history. (like, check the books.) however, i could not find powdered sugar anywhere, so this frosting could not be attempted. therefore, the muffins are tasty but naked. and i want frosting. and i'm sad.

on a happier note, we had a "gathering" last night for CLI in honor of the president's conference that's going on. it was so fun! likely because i met some really fun new people, and got to see some super exciting familiar faces - it's like, kind of awesome to have so many of your favorite people in one place. and kind of awesome to know that even the people you don't know are probably pretty cool too since they associate with the ones you do know. and lauren came!!! and i hadn't seen her in ages. so that was exciting in itself! but she left me around 10ish. buttt i made new friends so it's ok  :)

one of the funniest parts of the night was when this super nice guy from presentense introduced himself to me, and i'm like aw actually we've met (like 4 times, but whatever)... and he was like, wait, you were in my session at ROI... but wasn't your hair lighter? and i'm like uhhhhhh yeeeeaaaahhhhhhh. (seriously, what?) then, my hilarious coworker from mexico who i love to pieces takes my hair and is like, ohmygosh, it is darker! i like it.. when did you do this? and i'm like... when i was home... a month ago... hahahahaha MEN. i just remembered this because as i am sitting here, the IT guy at work who comes in once every couple months just asked me if my hair is darker. it's really dark, huh? oops.

i cannot believe i am going home AGAIN, a week from tomorrow! WTF!!!!! cannot wait! what should i be for halloween?

from nightmares and nausea to dreams and butterflies

love it :)

five random things

one.
last night.. i couldnt even get an ansaaaa. ok, not where i was going, but that diddy keyshia cole number seems to be quite popular on my ipod.


I MISS GINGEE!!!! and Cappuccino. Definitely miss Cappuccino more than anything on the planet.

sunday funday

kinda. only 2 of us at work today... what? crazy! on my way to get lunch, i passed the following:

• a nun
• 4 near-car accidents
• a monk
  
• 10+ haredim
• a kid on rollerblades
• a supercute dog
• 11+ cats
• 2 kittens. aw
  

which, may not seem so nuts... however, this was all within a 5-minute walk. ohhhh rechavia.

welcome to israel part 398409849023902490429042902409

i haven't had one of those days in a while, one that makes people chuckle and say, "welcome to israel." at least, i think it's been a while but it's tough to tell since i've been in america for three weeks. anyway, today was what i call the day from hell. others call it life in jerusalem.

since my return to the holy land, i've been sick. really sick. fever, stuffy, sniffly, sneezy, throat-on-fire, earaches, pounding-head, body-ache, raspy-voice, coughaholic sick. i sound like a man. and a nyquill commercial. cool. also, important background info: i've been super jet-lagged. it was my fault after i got home at 2 am last week and just stayed awake til work.. then came home at 6 pm and slept til like, 11 am the next day, no joke. i've been nocturnal since i got here, really bad.

i was actually planning on sleeping last night. i set 5 alarms (wakeup issues accompany jetlag and flulike symptoms like whoa).... 3 on one cell phone, 1 on another, 1 on my ipod, and then i remembered my dad had offered me this old-school windup alarm clock that he promised would wake me up, and he packed it in my suitcase. so around 1am, i reset the clock, set the alarm and plugged it in. two minutes later it smelled a little funny. before i could figure out what it was, there was some ticking and then a HUGE POP, i jumped out of my skin and i yelped as ALL the power went out in my apartment. how i didn't wake up my roommate and his gf, i will never know. i stumbled to the kitchen where we keep the matches, totally burned my finger while holding up the match looking for a candle, went to the fuse box and turned all the power back on. whew. then i called my dad to apologize for killing his vintage alarm clock, and he was kind of sad but then decided to start talking about my future and destiny in life. sorry dad, my heart was racing, the room reaked of burned electricity and that conversation just wasnt gonna happen.

there was no way i was going to sleep after my near-heart attack. finally around 4am today, i'm like, alright, i have an appointment at 9 am (the final appointment in a series that started in FEBRUARY), and then a doctor's appointment at 10:45. if i nap now, i'll feel like death when i wake up, if i even wake up (i always feel sickest after waking up)... so i decided to just stay awake. my brain wasn't really functioning so i was not exactly productive for the next four hours... but i left around 8:15 am cause i needed to pick up a paper at my office for the appointment. i got to the office and discovered the appointment wasn't until 9:30. woooooo there was gonna be time to eat something. it had been a while since i'd done that. so i walked the mile back downtown, sneezing and sweating and chills and wanting to die, 75 degrees my ass weather.com.

i rrrreally wanted the waffle place to be open. but it wasn't.
so i turned around and went to this new place i saw on the way. it was closed.
i walked back toward the waffle place and saw an open door to this cafe i've always wanted to try. i'm the only one in the place and the three israeli men working bring me an english menu and start chatting me up, and i'm like please get me out of here. so i ask for a croissant to go (the only item on the menu that wouldn't have to be prepared). BUT, they're out of croissants.
so i leave. it's already 9 by this point, so i head toward the ministry of the interior, misrad hap'nim, a little place i like to call hell. i was so excited to see this AMAZING place across the street was open, and i grabbed the most delicious pastry i think i've ever eaten in my life. i'll spare the details on the yumminess because i've realized that the people on the food network sound really really stupid when commenting on food. plus i haven't even gotten to the day-from-hell part.

i go in through the security and immediately feel like i need to take a shower. i hate this place. think DMV, but israeli style. i hear like seven different languages, smell twelve different strains of body odor, see people of all shapes, sizes and colors, and finally get to the staircase. WHOA really dizzy. some water would be good. tooo bad, i dont have any. (i know, me without a bottle of water is seriously rare, so you know i'm sick). i'm actually early (again, highly unlikely for healthy michelle), so i try to find a place to stand against the wall because all the seats were filled. the asian woman behind me decided it'd be fun to like, get on top of me. why did i wear a tank top, feeling another person's sweat is absolutely disgusting. i try to move but i'm trapped between the wall, sweaty asian woman and hair, curly, curly hair of the woman in front of me. what to do. curly's name is called and she walks away. thank g-d. ok my turn. ati, the woman who i've seen five times now looks at me like she's never seen me before. i say hi, how are you, happy new year, and she says, how can i help you. i'm like uhh i was supposed to bring you my birth certificate so i can get my work permit.
what? what is your passport?
uh, my passport.. is my passport? here?
typing typing typing.... flipping through papers.... tapping 3-foot long nails with rhinestones on them against the desk....
ehhhh it looks like we did not get answer from jewish agency. the police answer, everything ok. but rega.
AH rega, israel's favorite word. (it means wait)
Ati begins to look through every. single. piece. of. paper. on. her. desk. (her desk kinda looks like world war iii, not that i should be talking...). she is pulling out files of all these other people. what does she think, this thing she's looking for for me is gonna be stuck in someone else's folder? cool.
ehhh yes. no answer. ehhhh, if you want, i can send it again and when they get back to me i call you.
do you know when that will be?
no. maybe the day after tomorrow? maybe next week or the week after?
well, i'd really like to be able to get my work permit as soon as possible (seeing as though my job is almost over.)
ehhhh rega. ok if you like, i give you the paper and you take to jewish agency yourself. you bring it back before 12, and i give you your permit today.
great!! that would be great. but i have a doctor's appointment and am not sure i'll be back before 12.
so you bring it tomorrow or the day after and i give you.
oooook. so where do i go?


if you're still reading this i commend you. if not, i sympathize, cause i can't write anymore. to be continued.

resolution

my new year's resolution is to blog every single day i have left in israel, since i've royally sucked at this blogging thing since i've been here. so bear with me - if you know me well, you know i have serious issues with the word "done."
i feel like i'm never finished. there's always re-checking and re-doing and re-thinking and there's always room to make things better. which is why i decided not to be a writer. my senior paper revolved around the topic of writing - is anything ever finished? the weeks of research concluded that appaaaarently this is a common obstacle many writers face. however, rather than comforting me that i'm not alone in my finishphobia, i realized writing would not be the career for me. too. much. pressure. not. enough. time. being a perfectionist blows. ok so, i'm really going to try to tackle this thing daily, so bear with me puhlease. thanks!

happy new year chaverim

pass da kleenex

not the easiest of weeks.. or weekends.. and i have a slight lil feeling this week is gonna be even harder...

weekend weekbegin

some things i love about israel........

milky
the beach
all the artsy judaica stores
how the whole country observes holidays
it's kiinda pretty
my fam
my apartment
yoplait is so much better here. omg. the strawberry cheesecake is like, freakin unbelievable.

shabbating it

i just had the most relaxing 24 hours. my roommate went to tel aviv for shabbat and i was here, all aloooone. well, except for my laundry, which has been keeping me company since 4 pm on friday (the last load is presently in the dryer). AHHHHH IM NEVER DOING LAUNDRY AGAIN! ok i have a feeling that isn't true. i like clean clothes. however, for my next laundry escapades i really wanna find some dryer sheets. i cannot find them ANYWHERE! what's a girl gotta do to get some bounce around here? seriously.

so this was the first shabbat i've had by myself in the new apartment. since virtually everything's closed on shabbat here, there's not much to do - especially when you're living in an apartment full of religious girls who you happen to like and respect (which i did, very much so, therefore i did not use my computer, talk on the phone, shower, cook, etc...)... so, for the most part, i observed shabbat fully while in the apartment - and most saturdays if i needed to get some work done, i'd walk around the corner to my office, and work (and use the microwave and toaster and fridge and telephone.. if only the office had a shower...) i did this on many occassions, except there was that one time when i walked up one saturday and heard the alarm going off and apparently scared off the burglars who had just broken in. they didn't take anything, shockingly, since my digital camera was like, out in plain sight... so maybe i really did scare them away... but the alarm scared me away - i called my boss and got the hell outta there. the fact we were one of 8 break-ins in rechavia that night is pretty scary. cats crawled through the broken glass door and took over our office. THAT was scary, too. the chairs were DISGUSTINGLY covered in cat hair the next day. EW. i never went back to the office on shabbat after that.

so, back to the present. this shabbat, i did laundry. i showered. i blow-dried my hair. i did more laundry. i listened to music. i spent a while playing around on my computer. i caught up on some work. i COOKED! on shabbat. i cannot explain how nice it is to feel comfortable in a place of my "own." not that i didn't feel at home at the other apt., but i was always really cautious/overtly paranoid that i might offend someone, leading to roommate tension or broken friendships or them throwing me back out on da street. i loved that apartment. and there was something really special about keeping shabbat. really. it was challenging, but i really enjoyed it. however, i don't think fully observing shabbat is for me. at least not right now. or maybe ever.

anyway, when you aren't "subletting" or worried about breaking rules, it's a really comforting feeling. this morning, err, afternoonish, i ALMOST felt israeli cause i made such a delicious breakfast. i made an omelette and used our brand new cheese grater (actually i think i got a little grater-happy... it was my first time.. yeah. i just wrote that.) and the deliciously almost-american tasting MILD cheddar cheese that i got from the cheese man at the shuk. the first time i asked if they had cheddar, and the man was like, "no. i do not hev sheddar today. but for you, for you with the pretty eyes, i hev sheddar." spare me. please. anyway, i was really excited to get familiar tasting sheddar. with my omelette, i cut up some red bell peppers, cucumber and carrot, and had some hummus and pita AND juice AND fruit. israeli style, right? i really felt proud. you have no idea.


laundry's done. YESSSSSSSSSS

happy earth day, children of israel

http://killergreenideas.com/
http://www.earthday.net/
"What is the use of a house
if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?"
Henry David Thoreau
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtfully committed citizens can change
the world.
Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
Margaret Mead

yesterday

yesterday i went to tel aviv to reunite with a long lost bbyo friend, hilla. i took the sheirut with my friendly roommate jon and when we reached the bus station we went our separate ways. i then got on a city bus (sorry dad), bus 5, to get to dizengof center. arriving at dizengof center was a bit eerie, since i walked in, took one look around the mall, realized it's the mall i'd been to with birthright, and knew my way around far better than i know the back of my hand. who knows the back of their hand, anyway? whatever. i visit a mall once, i know it for life. sick. it's just a thing i've always had.

ok, so i was going to meet hilla at castro, which is a trendy clothing store and i figured i'd do some browsing since they have GREAT accessories. this castro is different than all others, as it's 3 stories (women, men, kids) and is absolutely beautiful! it kinda reminds me of express actually, a lot. so i'm browsing... of course a little t-shirt catches my eye and i fall in lust. i pick it up, decide to try it on and before i know it, lust turns into love. clothes in israel are pretty gosh darn expensive. i mean it probably doesn't seem like much, but this little black shirt cost 125 shekel, which is like $30ish. i have a shopping problem. i LOVE buying stuff, but generally ONLY if it's on sale. this is to rationalize with myself that it's okay to buy something cause if i'd paid full price for it, i'd be out way more money.. soooo if it costs more than $20, i generally walk away. if i'm still thinking about the item a week later, i'll go back to the store, and if they have my size, i try it on again and see how i feel. if they don't have my size, then i know we just weren't meant to be. sigh. i have such serious issues. anyway... back to castro. sadly, i knew what i had to do and folded up the precious lil tshirt and moved onto the shoes. 

hilla calls and we embrace in the middle of the store. she says "you look the exact same!" and i'm like... so do you.. and then we leave and go on our way. 

we head toward the arts and crafts fair, which is every tuesday and friday morning in tel aviv. as we walk, we're talking and catching up, and all of a sudden some girl goes, heyyyy! and i look closely and am thinking, gee, this face looks awfully familiar. then i pick up a bit of hebrew and hear hilla say, lachazor meeshell? m'bbg? and i realize DAMN it's INBAR! i went to iltc with this girl, too, she was in my dorm, hadn't seen her in 8 years, either... Inbar is very tall and has a perfect figure and pretty blue eyes, and at iltc she had really short hair and seemed very attitudey.. i was kinda scared to talk to her back then. anyway, now she's got really long hair and is in med school and as hilla said, "she's just one of those perfect people.. she's supersmart, but she's like a barbie doll." I could not belieeeeeve we ran into her!   

we keep walking. i tell hilla i really want to decorate my apt. and she's like oooh i know a place. it's at the shuk here, you can get pictures/art for the walls so cheap! they're like 5 for 50 shekel. and i'm like, PERFECT! then she asks me about where i've been living, and before i can explain the whole subletting story, another girl stops hilla and says HEY! and hilla's like omg. and i look at this girl, who's with her mom, and immediately i'm like holy shit.. it's Inbal.. another girl from my dorm at iltc that year. so weird. if i hadn't been with hilla, there's no way i would've recognized these girls... crrrazy!!

then we go to the shuk.. it's a lot like jerusalem but i feel like it's a tad (not much, but a tiny, tiny, tiny bit) more organized. 

oh jerusalem.

if i don’t have a working stove/oven/kitchen by this evening, april 13, there will be seriously massive hell to pay. are you listening claire? michel? david? everyone involved? passover is difficult year after year. but passover without a kitchen? HA. like, it’s proposterous. unfathomable. undoable. impossible. I was hoping it’d be the kind of impossible like in the Cinderella musical where the precious lil fairy godmother does her thing and impossible things are happening evvvvv…vvvvvvv…….rrrryyyyy dayyyyyyyyyy.
the appliances actually came six days ago, well, by that, i mean all the appliances except the fridge. they had no idea we’d ordered a fridge. how were they supposed to know we’d ordered a fridge when it was clearly marked on the delivery sheet? nothing is easy here. by now, it’s to the point where generally i’ll just laugh when stuff like this happens because it’s so typical here. but it’s PASSOVER and i COOK thankyouverymuch. HOW can you make a kugel or cheesecake or matzah meal pancakes or matza brei or matza pizza without ANY FRIDGE to keep your ingredients in or any oven or stove to cook them in/on? somebody please, please, please help Last night I went back to Casa de Yael and Tali (and now Ayala)… I sort of was planning on sneaking in, putting my stuff down, running to the store and then having a romantic reunion with the oven I used all of thrice in 2 months (if you know me, you know this is in no way even CLOSE to close to remotely near normal), or maybe the stove (which i actually used quite a bit, i eat a shitload of omelettes here. gotta get that PROTINE). Anyway, the washer, dryer, oven and stove have been sitting in boxes for almost a week, because the delivery people don’t install them because that would just make too much sense, ya know? and apparently there is some law that we are not allowed to install them / insurance liability or something. but, our go-to girl for the apartment said we could hook up the oven ourselves. my dear roommate left me all alone the other day, so i attempted to pick up the oven out of the box and in turn felt like a weak, weak loser and on top of it, i somehow cut my thumb really deeply - in three different places. well, three and a half actually, all like, worse than papercuts. i dont think it was from the box though, i honestly think it was from part of the oven. hopefully my tetanus vaccine is still rocking. OW. mother of G-D.
moving right along… sorry, this is quite the rant here…