yesterday i played a CD in my car.. one that i'd made right when i got back from israel. it's got allllll the favorite songs from the playlist i'd listen to on my walks to and from work (and everywhere in between)... literally i hear these songs and i see the surroundings in rechavia, the beautiful flowers and the old man sitting outside (the one with the 2 year old DAUGHTER)... i see the sky starting to turn from cotton candy clouds to a dark shade of blue and i can hear my shoes stepping on the sidewalk and feel myself looking around at the shops and the people and the babies and the cats as i'm crossing the streets.... then another song will come on and i'll see the pavement on yafo street on a friday, and smell the pastries and hear the chatter and the clatter and the honking and see it all.
while i was there, i knew i'd miss it. but this much?
ya.
i haven't stopped playing the CD, which i probably haven't listened to since May.
tomorrow I will have been back in the states for exactly one year.
my life has changed drastically since march 24, 2010.
the apartment, the job, the boyfriend, the little smushy baby girl, the losing my little capcap, the fading of relationships, the start of new relationships.... to name a few. if i could've fast-forwarded a year ago, i don't think i would have believed it.
that's the beauty of life. you can be whatever you want (if you're lucky) - and make positive changes that strengthen the positivity in your life. and i am the luckiest girl in the world.
this morning i wished and wished i could open my eyes and be back on yafo street at my apartment.
a few hours later, i read there was a terrorist attack in jerusalem. a bus bombing. on yafo street. 15 minutes walking from my apartment.
there hasn't been a bus bombing since 2004.
why today? why now? why them? why jerusalem?
so unnecessary.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Friday, August 6, 2010
barnes and noblelicious
unfortunately, the B&N location at which i am currently working is one of the "smaller" locations. meaning the only real places to sit are at the cafe/starbucks. which is playing seriously annoying music. like, dear lord. anyway, there's a little wall next to my table, and on the other side of the wall is the magazine display. directly facing the display on the other side of the wall are two of those huge starbucks'-style comfy chairs. and there is a man. in the chair on the left. and he's fast asleep. with his newspaper on his lap. he's been napping for over an hour. should i wake him? is that rude? is he loitering? am i loitering? i already bought something at starbucks this morning. i mean it might have been another location, but like, as much as i love the starbucks concept (which, i guess is not THAT much, considering its monopoly), there is just about nothing on their menu that i fancy. (did i really just use the term "fancy" as a verb? yikes.) i usually end up with a bottle of water or juice, made by someone else. i wish we had coffee bean (and tea leaf. can't forget the tea leaf). this morning, however, i ate a starbucks rice krispy treat for breakfast. i'm sorry, marshmallow square. and the barista (who was male.. baristo?) kept making fun of me because i didn't want anything to drink. he thought it was personal, that i didn't want him to make me a drink. he was so LA. and needs some game. ha. what is he doing here?
ok i'm like, at a creative freeze right now AND i wanna take a shower. stat. it's 103 degrees. and the sun makes my head hurt these days. SO MUCH freelance work all piling up on my lil shoulders right about now. esp today. when it rains, it pourrrrrrs. i wish it were raining lemonade from houston's. i heart houston's lemonade.
ps, the man is still sleeping. ppl keep staring. EEK.
apologies if you're reading this, i promise sometime in the near future i will compose a substantial post.
damnit. NOW they turn off the music. just when i'm packing up. of course of course.
oh wait. it's back.
EW the same artist. how do these people take itttttt
ADIOS muchachos
ok i'm like, at a creative freeze right now AND i wanna take a shower. stat. it's 103 degrees. and the sun makes my head hurt these days. SO MUCH freelance work all piling up on my lil shoulders right about now. esp today. when it rains, it pourrrrrrs. i wish it were raining lemonade from houston's. i heart houston's lemonade.
ps, the man is still sleeping. ppl keep staring. EEK.
apologies if you're reading this, i promise sometime in the near future i will compose a substantial post.
damnit. NOW they turn off the music. just when i'm packing up. of course of course.
oh wait. it's back.
EW the same artist. how do these people take itttttt
ADIOS muchachos
Monday, July 19, 2010
heneini
shaaalom. from dallas. it's been a while since i've written. kinda weird. i miss israel more and more every day, but for some reason i'm missing it immensely right now... more than ever. i miss the noise and the ground and the air and the smells and the sky and the people and the cats and the everything. i miss jerusalem. i miss tel aviv. i miss zichron and i miss my family. and my coworkers, who became family.
i decided to do a flickr search for some photos to catch a slight glimpse of israel's uniqueness, which one can merely only ATTEMPT to capture on film. it's impossible.
first i searched for an israeli flag. some horrifying images came back in the search. not shocking, more like expected. how sad. then i did a few more searches, for tel aviv (day and night), ben yehuda, downtown jerusalem, jerusalem day. the results for a certain search disturbed me as well, but in a different way. i'm not sure whether it's comforting or chilling or scary. i got back 453 results. halfway through skimming the thumbnails, i noticed a familiar face. a guy i grew up with in dallas is tagged in a small but nice percentage of the 453, which were posted by someone else. i keep skimming and clicking "next." more people i know. thennn something else caught my eye. my cousin. my cousin from baltimore's photostream popped up. of all the people in the world, of the 40 MILLION flickr users, of all the users posting and tagging photos, i have connections to at least five people in the 453 results. me. little nobody michelle. from dallas, texas. why is the jewish world so small? why do things like this get to me in such ways at such hours hmm? why can't more jewish people marry more jewish people and make more jews? tis bedtime. or almost wakeup time if you are normal. i do not want to be normal. SORRRAAAYYYYY!
i decided to do a flickr search for some photos to catch a slight glimpse of israel's uniqueness, which one can merely only ATTEMPT to capture on film. it's impossible.
first i searched for an israeli flag. some horrifying images came back in the search. not shocking, more like expected. how sad. then i did a few more searches, for tel aviv (day and night), ben yehuda, downtown jerusalem, jerusalem day. the results for a certain search disturbed me as well, but in a different way. i'm not sure whether it's comforting or chilling or scary. i got back 453 results. halfway through skimming the thumbnails, i noticed a familiar face. a guy i grew up with in dallas is tagged in a small but nice percentage of the 453, which were posted by someone else. i keep skimming and clicking "next." more people i know. thennn something else caught my eye. my cousin. my cousin from baltimore's photostream popped up. of all the people in the world, of the 40 MILLION flickr users, of all the users posting and tagging photos, i have connections to at least five people in the 453 results. me. little nobody michelle. from dallas, texas. why is the jewish world so small? why do things like this get to me in such ways at such hours hmm? why can't more jewish people marry more jewish people and make more jews? tis bedtime. or almost wakeup time if you are normal. i do not want to be normal. SORRRAAAYYYYY!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
i heart tel aviv.
this is from march 2nd.
emmm apparently it's march. what? so yeah. tel aviv. i'm back. again. i was here on sunday. and i'll probably be back again this weekend. perhaps i should just live here. yes, perhaps i should. i'm thinking maybe i'll staff a birthright trip this summer and then come to tel aviv after. but uh, i think i should get a job. prob. yeah. i really need a job.
the people here are beautiful. there are dogs everywhere. there are different shops and restaurants and buildings and bikes and coffeehouses and ya, hair salons lining multiple multiple streets.
i'm sitting at this cafe on dizengoff where i came once for "macaroni and cheese." however, the mac and cheese turned out to be penne with portobello mushrooms and a semi cheesy balsamic vinegarette sauce - it was AMAZING!!! but like, it was not mac and cheese. this time i ordered a "toast," which actually looks like the lean cuisine french bread pizza - but two of them. it's actually ciabatta bread, which, in israel, they call "gepetta." no seriously. once i said i wanted ciabatta and they were like, "ma?" and i say, ciabatta? still blank stare. finally i'm like.... gepetta? "OH, gepetta." anyway, this is super yummy. and i wasn't exactly hungry, i'm just kinda waiting for my friend to get outta class......... oops. the israeli salad i asked for instead of a green salad was the perfect cucumber to tomato ratio... which is probably like 65:35. and there was just enough lemon juice and salt and WOW. i really like food.
anyway, there are two guys sitting in the smoking section (yeah, which is WAY more packed than the non-smoking, which is only separated by a glass wall and two doors that are being opened every few minutes so it might as well be the smoking section...) - and they are drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. and a precious cavalier/king charles spaniel PUPPY is sitting on one of the guys' lap.
AHHHHHH why do ppl laugh at me when i try to speak hebrew.
emmm apparently it's march. what? so yeah. tel aviv. i'm back. again. i was here on sunday. and i'll probably be back again this weekend. perhaps i should just live here. yes, perhaps i should. i'm thinking maybe i'll staff a birthright trip this summer and then come to tel aviv after. but uh, i think i should get a job. prob. yeah. i really need a job.
the people here are beautiful. there are dogs everywhere. there are different shops and restaurants and buildings and bikes and coffeehouses and ya, hair salons lining multiple multiple streets.
i'm sitting at this cafe on dizengoff where i came once for "macaroni and cheese." however, the mac and cheese turned out to be penne with portobello mushrooms and a semi cheesy balsamic vinegarette sauce - it was AMAZING!!! but like, it was not mac and cheese. this time i ordered a "toast," which actually looks like the lean cuisine french bread pizza - but two of them. it's actually ciabatta bread, which, in israel, they call "gepetta." no seriously. once i said i wanted ciabatta and they were like, "ma?" and i say, ciabatta? still blank stare. finally i'm like.... gepetta? "OH, gepetta." anyway, this is super yummy. and i wasn't exactly hungry, i'm just kinda waiting for my friend to get outta class......... oops. the israeli salad i asked for instead of a green salad was the perfect cucumber to tomato ratio... which is probably like 65:35. and there was just enough lemon juice and salt and WOW. i really like food.
anyway, there are two guys sitting in the smoking section (yeah, which is WAY more packed than the non-smoking, which is only separated by a glass wall and two doors that are being opened every few minutes so it might as well be the smoking section...) - and they are drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. and a precious cavalier/king charles spaniel PUPPY is sitting on one of the guys' lap.
AHHHHHH why do ppl laugh at me when i try to speak hebrew.
Monday, March 1, 2010
purim sameach
why are the days passing so quickly? i do not understand in the slightest. last night i was an all-american 80s workout chick for purim. it was either that or all black with some sort of hat or headband.... the night before i was a cowgirl, duh, and stayed out until 5:30 am and def didn't go to sleep til liiiiiike 7:30. man o man. haha. SO much fun in tel aviv. even though i somehow hurt my ankle that night. but it's not swollen today and i think it's feeling better. thanks for your concern. last night i ran into a friend from iltc 2001 - pretty random but really funny...! anyways, the weather here is pretty ridic right now. the sky is finally blue! WOOO!
i wanna bake hamantaschen today. i think i'm going to. for some reason though, i'm really sleepy right now. sleep or bake, sleep or bake... or go run some very necessary errands. yes. later.
ps a ROLLADIN is opening downtown. hillel street i think. i absolutely cannot wait. even though my days are decreasing... :(
i wanna bake hamantaschen today. i think i'm going to. for some reason though, i'm really sleepy right now. sleep or bake, sleep or bake... or go run some very necessary errands. yes. later.
ps a ROLLADIN is opening downtown. hillel street i think. i absolutely cannot wait. even though my days are decreasing... :(
Sunday, February 21, 2010
sunday, again?
hello, again, children of israel. how is it going? i cannot believe it's already sunday. february is flying. just like ME. that's right, i've been hopping on sheiruts like a madwoman getting to tel aviv as much as humanly possible. actually, i've been thrice in the past 11 days. honestly i'm on another level there. even before i get there, actually.
the minute the sheirut (what is a sheirut, you ask? a sheirut is a "service taxi," which holds about 10 or 11 people, and the place to pick them up is literally down the street from my apt. - much more convenient than leaving from the central bus station - which is also down the street from my apt. - but 15-20 minutes instead of four to six. And this 15 to 20-minute walk takes you down the other side of yafo - which is currently a HUGE construction site (they're building a train) - the narrow "sidewalks" are packed with people and strollers and charedim and barriers, which make the "sidewalks" super narrow, so the walk can actually take a half-hour if, say, you aren't israeli-style PUSHY. after this walk, you reach the central bus station, hooray! but instead of feeling relieved you've finally made it there, past all the creepers and through all the masses, there's always a crazy "line" (we've discussed these) just to get through security JUST to enter the building to put your bag(s) through the machine, to go up stairs and find where your bus leaves, and lucky me, i ALWAYS see the bus i want pulling away just as i walk up and i get to wait in the crowd for the next one. and it smells like hot dogs and body odor. and about 20 minutes later when the bus pulls up, you walk outside to this enclosed area, which, instead of feeling and smelling "fresh air," you enter a pool, and are swimming in a sea of cigarette smoke. before you can grasp that you're swimming, people PUSH. hard. so it's like you're treading, trying to stay alive. you feel their sweat and taste their cigarettes and sometimes get hit by purses or baby bags or baby spit or (hopefully unloaded) guns worn by the soldiers, as everyone's yelling and trying to knock you down to get on the bus. once i make it through, somehow alive, i always wind up sitting next to someone coughing that HORRID throaty, mucusie cough or sneezing and wiping their nose with their arm, and if they're not sick, they're generally eating tuna fish sandwiches with onions. BUT if somehow i find the perfect seat, i'm asked to move by a girl younger than me carrying her child and stroller who needs the room more than i do. then i end up next to the crazies who like to take up not just their seat, but 75% of mine, as well. i like the window, but i don't wanna make out with it, thanks. oh tangent.)...
yeah. so i like sheiruts. they hold 10-11 people and run 24 hours (the buses do NOT). people generally give me crap for not taking buses, since "they're so much cheaper," and more environmentally-friendly, but i just don't mind spending the extra three shekel (about 75 cents) for a shorter walk, less chance of catching the latest virus, faster arrival time, and skipping out on all the mishigas listed above. so... back to the original sentence: the minute the sheirut gets out of jerusalem and i start seeing beit zayit or mevaseret, my nerves have escaped my body and an enormous wave of relaxation starts to settle in, starting at my shoulders, slowly moving all the way to my toes. magically, i feel calm. (most of the time - unless the sheirut driver is on the phone or driving 600 km per hour, which HAS been known to happen). my ipod keeps me entertained, and bam, next thing ya know, you're in tel aviv.
the weather right now is amazing. i actually got sunburned walking around last week. really sunburned. to the point where i had a white circle on my skin from where my necklace was. the water is still a bit too cold at the beach. butttttt who cares. ok i have got to clean my room. perhaps ill write another chapter later? hugs hugs.
the minute the sheirut (what is a sheirut, you ask? a sheirut is a "service taxi," which holds about 10 or 11 people, and the place to pick them up is literally down the street from my apt. - much more convenient than leaving from the central bus station - which is also down the street from my apt. - but 15-20 minutes instead of four to six. And this 15 to 20-minute walk takes you down the other side of yafo - which is currently a HUGE construction site (they're building a train) - the narrow "sidewalks" are packed with people and strollers and charedim and barriers, which make the "sidewalks" super narrow, so the walk can actually take a half-hour if, say, you aren't israeli-style PUSHY. after this walk, you reach the central bus station, hooray! but instead of feeling relieved you've finally made it there, past all the creepers and through all the masses, there's always a crazy "line" (we've discussed these) just to get through security JUST to enter the building to put your bag(s) through the machine, to go up stairs and find where your bus leaves, and lucky me, i ALWAYS see the bus i want pulling away just as i walk up and i get to wait in the crowd for the next one. and it smells like hot dogs and body odor. and about 20 minutes later when the bus pulls up, you walk outside to this enclosed area, which, instead of feeling and smelling "fresh air," you enter a pool, and are swimming in a sea of cigarette smoke. before you can grasp that you're swimming, people PUSH. hard. so it's like you're treading, trying to stay alive. you feel their sweat and taste their cigarettes and sometimes get hit by purses or baby bags or baby spit or (hopefully unloaded) guns worn by the soldiers, as everyone's yelling and trying to knock you down to get on the bus. once i make it through, somehow alive, i always wind up sitting next to someone coughing that HORRID throaty, mucusie cough or sneezing and wiping their nose with their arm, and if they're not sick, they're generally eating tuna fish sandwiches with onions. BUT if somehow i find the perfect seat, i'm asked to move by a girl younger than me carrying her child and stroller who needs the room more than i do. then i end up next to the crazies who like to take up not just their seat, but 75% of mine, as well. i like the window, but i don't wanna make out with it, thanks. oh tangent.)...
yeah. so i like sheiruts. they hold 10-11 people and run 24 hours (the buses do NOT). people generally give me crap for not taking buses, since "they're so much cheaper," and more environmentally-friendly, but i just don't mind spending the extra three shekel (about 75 cents) for a shorter walk, less chance of catching the latest virus, faster arrival time, and skipping out on all the mishigas listed above. so... back to the original sentence: the minute the sheirut gets out of jerusalem and i start seeing beit zayit or mevaseret, my nerves have escaped my body and an enormous wave of relaxation starts to settle in, starting at my shoulders, slowly moving all the way to my toes. magically, i feel calm. (most of the time - unless the sheirut driver is on the phone or driving 600 km per hour, which HAS been known to happen). my ipod keeps me entertained, and bam, next thing ya know, you're in tel aviv.
the weather right now is amazing. i actually got sunburned walking around last week. really sunburned. to the point where i had a white circle on my skin from where my necklace was. the water is still a bit too cold at the beach. butttttt who cares. ok i have got to clean my room. perhaps ill write another chapter later? hugs hugs.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
all it took was some therapeutic baking
yo. happy, happpy valentine's day lekulam. i'm at sushi rechavia because i've found it's my favorite place to get stuff done. weird. and i'm not really getting too much done right now because there's a table next to me with 2 guys speaking english. and they're purty obnoxious, i must say.
in general, this is a really fun place to people-watch. and the food is amazing. and during the day there's pretty good service. and they never, ever try to kick you out. in fact, in israel they do not even approach you. you literally have to hound them to get them to let you pay. so european. at least that's what i hear. someday maybe i'll go. anyway. love this restaurant. even though it is absurdly overpriced. the tempura mushrooms make it all worth it.
uh so i just found out why it smells so good in here: the soup of the day is tom yum!!! which is quite possibly my favorite soup EVER. and i haven't had it in so long. argh. i have GOT to come back for that! on a sunday perhaps. although i probably wouldn't realize what it was cause the waitress is calling it marak toomya. so cute. such an interesting mix of people around here. and it's an absolutely gorgeous day. some police dudes just trotted by on horseback - no joke - and they were both talking on their cell phones. and they were kind of cute. i wish i could get myself some training to become a police officer on horseback. or just date one. no not really. alright i think it's time to go home. i shall write more later skater. and i'll tell you all about my chocolate cheesecake cupcakes. i might've turned myself into a chocolate person. oops.
in general, this is a really fun place to people-watch. and the food is amazing. and during the day there's pretty good service. and they never, ever try to kick you out. in fact, in israel they do not even approach you. you literally have to hound them to get them to let you pay. so european. at least that's what i hear. someday maybe i'll go. anyway. love this restaurant. even though it is absurdly overpriced. the tempura mushrooms make it all worth it.
uh so i just found out why it smells so good in here: the soup of the day is tom yum!!! which is quite possibly my favorite soup EVER. and i haven't had it in so long. argh. i have GOT to come back for that! on a sunday perhaps. although i probably wouldn't realize what it was cause the waitress is calling it marak toomya. so cute. such an interesting mix of people around here. and it's an absolutely gorgeous day. some police dudes just trotted by on horseback - no joke - and they were both talking on their cell phones. and they were kind of cute. i wish i could get myself some training to become a police officer on horseback. or just date one. no not really. alright i think it's time to go home. i shall write more later skater. and i'll tell you all about my chocolate cheesecake cupcakes. i might've turned myself into a chocolate person. oops.
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